One year ago, Super Bowl Sunday, in fact...... Josiah Owen Marx decided that he would not wait any longer......he was born, in the Lord's perfect timing and in answer to our prayers on February 3rd, 2013. I say that it was in answer to our prayers because Josiah had Trisomy 18 and we were told that it was very likely that he would not make it to full-term and if he were to make it then he would likely not survive birth due to his heart defects. I was scheduled to be induced on February 5th and I so desperately prayed that he would come on his own and in his own timing. The Lord heard our cries and he gave us that gift as well as what we dared to hope for....the gift of time with our son. We had almost an hour to spend with him before he slipped from my arms and was safe in the arms of Jesus. The time was precious. Happy Birthday in heaven my sweet and beautiful baby boy. How my heart aches and misses you so.... Until Forever sweet baby.
We have 4 children. Two of them are here with us and we get the amazing blessing and privilege of raising them. That is not lost on us. The Lord has entrusted us with the most incredible children and is letting us, as best we can, with all of our love, bring them up. And two of them are with our Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ. There is grief. There is joy, for what that must be like for them. We are forever changed. That is not lost on us either.
Sometimes it is ever so hard to get started on a post. I love to write, I have lots of ideas and fragments of things I want to say, but to sit down and get going is a chore sometimes. Updating this blog never fails to be emotional and introspective. That's always a tough combo. Tough as it is to get going though, it's therapeutic and that's why I write. I like to think that somehow the Lord can refine my stumbling words and the pain of our loss to bring comfort to someone who may need it and that's also why I write.
I do have some fun things to share too! Back in March an amazing and unexpected gift was given to us in the form of a benefit held for our family. The outpouring of support and love was overwhelming in the best of ways. One of the goals of that benefit was to be able to take our first ever family vacation to Disney. We took that trip at the end of April, and let me tell you, it was nothing short of magical! I had never been there before so I had no idea what to expect. It truly was a time of refreshing (even though it was exhausting!) and a time for our family to make some new happier memories reconnecting together after the past 2 years of heartbreak. For those dear ones who wanted this for us, it was everything they hoped it would be and more. What a blessing! And a special thanks to "On Your Way With Renee" for planning our trip, making reservations, and answering a millions questions for us! Visit her facebook page if you are ever thinking of taking a trip to Disney!
Another perfectly timed blessing came in the way of God's Tiny Angels.... I was connected with them at the benefit and was encouraged to let them help us in any way they could with some of Josiah's expenses relating to his headstone. The week we got back from Disney we received word that his headstone was in and that the remainder of what we owed on it had been taken care of by God's Tiny Angels! What a blessing! His headstone was installed the following week..... He is right next to his brother, but our hope is found in Christ knowing that they are truly hand in hand with Him waiting for that day when we will be with them again. My sweet boys....
When I think of the blessings that have met us along the way as we journey on I am strengthened in my faith, humbled by the extent to which I have been allowed to see His Hand working and in awe of His care for us in spite of the river of tears we feel pulling at us. He works through us, you and I, and what a gift it is to be used of Him to bring relief, comfort and blessings to His people. Praise be to God and great thankfulness for those vessels He is using.
If you are looking for incredible organizations to donate to, we have been blessed beyond measure by more than one. At the benefit there was a list of the great businesses who donated goods, services, food and auction items. Additionally while we were pregnant with Josiah we were able to get a 3D ultrasound thanks to an organization called Sustaining Grace who worked with 4D Peek of Cleveland to cover the costs of that priceless blessing. And most recently has been God's Tiny Angels. Here
are a couple links for anyone looking to learn more about the ways these organizations bless families like ours:
http://www.sustaininggrace.org/
http://www.godstinyangels.org/
In closing, I have to thank the Lord for each of you. I am overwhelmed again and again at the kindnesses extended to us. Thank you always for remembering Owen and Josiah. Thank you for caring so much for Braden and Addison. Thank you for what you have done and continue to do for our family. I love that you remember, that you ask, that you keep our boys in your hearts alongside us. You have truly been God's hands and feet to our family and it makes our hearts full in the midst of the floods that have come.
In His Hands,
Cat
